somewhere within

2009-11-13T21:06:00.002+08:00

You are never gone..
From my heart..

To me, you are still the one i loved most on earth
No one can replace you
You are the best
I will not forget the day when you left without a word
Which left with me no chance to say goodbye,
No chance to tell you how much i love you
Y?How i wish you were given more time..
Why were you being taken away so fast, without giving me a last moment by your side
So many words left unsaid...

You were my pillar
You will still be
Your expectaions of me still lives in my mind
I will try my best to acheive them

2009-08-11T22:59:00.007+08:00

I feel the wave of upsets
I'm trying to dodge
It simply doesn't work
It still hit me, hard
The impact hasn't eased as days go by..
It stays in me throughout the day till i sleep
It comes again when i'm awaken from my slumber

I can't describe how it feels
Cause i don't know what i'm feeling anymore
All i know is I'm HURT
I feel pain
If only it never happens
If only i'm smarter
If only i've learnt
Then i wouldn't feel so miserable
I'm not sure what i can rely on to keep me smiling,
To forget the pain and keep it away from me...

2009-05-14T23:41:00.002+08:00

Really really really mad..

Question marks all over my head..

Disheartened, no motivation to continue

Everytime, no matter how hard i try to fight, in the end i always end up with lotsa bruises

Pain and bruises are what i've gotten in return

Is not my forte

I'm forcing myself to go on, pushing myself to perservere

But i'm physically and mentally tired about this

What i like about this in the first place is different from what i'm doing now

2009-03-07T02:16:00.005+08:00

I can just walk out of the house with a luggage

I won't turn back

Nothing for me to turn back

People here are simply FUCK UP

The house rules are FUCK UP

Nothing matters anymore..

Grandma has gone,

So i'm all ready to leave, out of here, out of this house, this fuck up situation.

The day will come...

2009-02-13T23:21:00.002+08:00

Po po, it has been almost 3 months since you left...

Although my life is back to normal, days and weeks pass by pretty fast, already 2mths into 2009

Somehow, i feel that you are gone for more than 3 mths, it seems more like years to me.

Whenever i'm alone, i think of you.

My heart aches tremendously.

Deep down inside, I still can't get over this

I'm turning 21 in a few days time,

Although i still go on with celebrations with friends,

It's you that i really want to blow candles with,

Have a piece of my birthday cake

Spend a day with you..

I wanted you to live to the day when i got my degree,

The day when i become a bride,

The day when i gave birth

I longed for you to be by my side to share all these special moments

But it's no longer possible...

I really regret not able to learn how to make the meatballs for you to eat

I will learn it well and let this pass down for generations

Miss you greatly...

2008-12-14T22:01:00.003+08:00

Po po, so many times i wondered, what were you thinking before the very moment you left?

Was there something that was going through your mind?

Were there things that you wanted to say?

Why did you choose to leave so quietly?

Was that your wish not to say goodbye to us? Even to me?

Or you were just unable to wait for us to come?

Was there fear in you when you have to leave?

Did you wish for someone to hold your hand till the last moment?

Do you know, i really want to be there to hold your hand before you leave?

I really want to see you for the very last time...

Was I in the wrong for leaving you that night when you were gripping my hand so tight?

Were you trying to tell me that your time was almost up and asked me not to go?

If you were, and i knew, i would really stay by your side and not leave that night.

I shouldn't have went home....

Po po, will you know that i miss you badly?

Are you watching over me now?

If you are, i really want you to smile,

I will get on with my life and i will live it well,

And try my very best to fulfill whatever expectations you have for me,

To make you feel proud.

Love you and miss you always...

2008-11-19T23:46:00.012+08:00

Grandma has departed this world of hardships, sorrows and sufferings...

Although so many of us send grandma off, i feel that grandma's whole life is not as good as what people perceeived. Majority of them did not seem very affected by her death.

The son she doted on the most did not even turn up at all to send her off. She wanted to study so badly but her parents did not allow just because she was a girl. Because of that she had to slought for almost the whole of her life, to support her family, giving a better life to her siblings then to grandpa and her children of six.

Ah gong departed the world early. Grandma had to be a widow for over 2o years. Despite that her children had grown up, earning a living, she still lead a simple and hard life, insisitng of collecting cardbards, newspaper and metal cans.

Even when she was dying, she still longed to see the son who only wanted her inheritance, never once did she hated him for what he did, yet her last wish was not fulfill...

I really feel sorry for grandma...Deep down i really hate him for what he did but i know grandma would not want me to.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Po Po, i hope you are in a better place now, without sufferings and hardships,

Only happiness for you.

I hope you are living well in the big house we gave you

with the maids and chauffeur attending to all your needs.

Only if you are happy, then i will be happy.

I will always remember the unconditional love you gave me,

always doted on me, cared for me, giving your best to me.

It is all these love and care that brought me up to who i am today,

You were the one who loved me the most in this world.

Now that you are gone, the road ahead is hard for me to walk,

I can only live with the love that you once showered upon me to go further.

You will always be in my heart forever, always be remembered by me...

I will not be able to visit you anymore

Can't sit down and have a meal anymore

Can't hear your voice anymore

Can't have you to defend for me when i'm getting an earful

Can't be loved by you anymore

I miss you badly

Po po, zai jian le~

2008-11-15T00:57:00.000+08:00

Grandma has left...

2008-10-29T22:17:00.007+08:00

Why try to make small talk?
When there's nothing to talk between me and you?

It doesn't matter much how am i doing to you
My life doesn't concern you
And i don't want to know about yours at all
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I prayed that you can live well, sleep well everyday
Please eat and drink more to fight the battle...
Please don't lose hope, don't give up
I will always be by your side..

2008-10-24T22:12:00.004+08:00

The D&D is really round the corner..

I am really anticipating it. Can't wait to dress up and hopefully i will manage to get all the items and the preps stated in my checklist.

Headache---What to wear??? New dress or one that is sitting in my closet for donkey years?? Definitely a new pair of "Wow" heels and glamourous, accessories to make it a bling bling night..

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I prayed that everyday, you can live it through..
And i prayed that everyday i have one more day with you...

2008-09-29T22:31:00.005+08:00

Somehow i lost the courage each day to visit u
I don't wish to see u in agony, not eating, losing so much weight...
The hospitals are alaways dreadful to step into

But i know, i can't lose all my courage to the cruel reality..
I need to brave through all mental obstacles, keep holding on
As you are the dearest to me in the world..

2008-09-23T23:08:00.000+08:00

Don't wanna go anywhere

I'm staying here..

2008-09-23T21:22:00.002+08:00

It pains me to see how frail you get day by day
It pains to see you being so breathless
It pains to see you looking better then deteriogate the next day
It pains to see you not talking that much anymore

Pains to see you not eating and drinking much
Pains to see you having to force yourself to finish the medicine
Pains to see you lying on bed with no energy

It is painful to say goodbye to you everytime i visit you
It is painful thinking that you are slipping away from me

If i could i want to hold you tightly and forever that nothing can take you away
I want you to be always by my side but

Am i going to lose you..

2008-08-29T23:25:00.003+08:00

I PASSED I PASSED I PASSED

yESSSSS!!!! I PASS MY PIANO gRADE 8 EXAMS!!!!!!!!!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG, I'M OVER THE MOON!!!!

CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I ACTUALLY MADE IT!!!!!!!! OMG

YESSSSSSS!!! ALL THE MONEY AND EFFORTS PAID OFF!!!

yIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

2008-07-30T00:37:00.003+08:00

Screwed up again...

Tears welled up as i left the building
Disappointment caught me right up even before i left the room, wanted to left the room so badly after the first piece, wish i could get out and get back to start afresh, erasing what he had wrote on the paper and redo it again. Of course it was impossible.

By the last component, i had already more or less lost my mind, could not think and have no energy to think, all i wanted to do is get out of the room! The pressure was too suppressing and intense that i need fresh air!

Time and effort dedicated for this day went all down the drain. Disappointed and upset with myself that i could not get hold of my nerves, letting it dominating not just my mind but my hands as well.

If only i did not make the nervousness inside me to be so overwhelming..

So gloomy..Perhaps i should climb into my bed and the dark clouds will be cleared when i'm awake..

2008-05-27T00:59:00.002+08:00

The toughest battle isn't negativity

or advice from the wrong people in life

but it's with ourselves.

We are our own worst enemy

A quote from a dear friend. Recently it has served me well and it will continue to be useful to me. As now when i'm in a dilemma, having to make decisions, this quote will surface in my mind, being a reminder to me that whatever advices i seek from people or no matter how difficult it is, even when your love ones do not support you, I should ask myself what i really want, the obstacle lies in me.

Another good quote that brightens one's day from my dear friend,

Be it rainy day or sunny day,

Have a good day~

Sometimes when i have to go to work in the morning, feeling abit dreadful, wishing i could sleep a few more hours, reading this has help to give me a boost to enjoy working, living each day the best way i can, i like.

2008-05-26T01:04:00.002+08:00

I've come to realise the friendship between you and me may not really mean that much to you as compared to how much i treasure it all this times. And i've come to realise i've given much more than i received in this friendship. I don't mind giving, as long as i feel all this givings are worth my time, my effort, knowing you appreciate and treasure me as a friend. However, your actions and words do not justify. Many times I'm disappointed with the way you treat me I feel underappreciate.

Perhaps you have way too many better friends than me to care about, to fork out your time when they need you and as a result i'm forgotten. It's ok. There are people around me who cares , willing to spend time with me and i can turn to them when i need some comfort and warmth.

2008-05-09T00:02:00.002+08:00

It's time to readjust
Time to pack the feelings I have for DW
And cast them to the back of my mind
I got to start afresh cum Monday
Brand new job in a brand new environment,
Something to look forward to

I'm pretty excited actually, gonna start working again! After days and weeks of rotting at home right after a week of working at nippon. My bank account will be revived in a months time! Yippie!!! whahahhaha! This time round i will stick to it, am contented with this offer, nothing much for me to be picky about. :)

Yes, i must put DW aside. I'll try. It is a fact that i won't return to work there. No longer possible anymore. However i will not forget the fun and joy i have with the people there because this is a once in a lifetime thing, something i will not get to taste it again.

2008-04-27T20:23:00.002+08:00

I brokedown..
The feelings were supressing inside
Too hard to contain them anymore
It was far more than i realised i was so emotionally attached
To the people over there
And moving on to a new environment
Somehow made me realised my mistake of not following my heart.

Nevertheless, it's been over five days now.
This lesson will be a valuable one
Whether or not i return to their arms
Will leave it here...

2008-04-20T01:19:00.003+08:00

Some people said i'm too sentimental in handling this issue.
Perhaps i am.
Maybe i'm not professional enough to handle this,
Perhaps so.
Maybe i'm just not matured enough
Am exposed to too little things in life.

Why am i so sentimental & emotional?
For certain i know, i value relationship and ties greatly
What's more relationships that go beyond work
I treasure them because
I hit it well with them so fast so soon
It was something never happened before
Just a day spending with them, i've opened up
Am less reserved and restrained
Bringing out my bubbly side
To me, it doesn't come by often
It is so rare, so unexpected
That's why the relationships formed
Has made a big impact on me.

I will need time to put my emotions aside
Although my mind only contains about 2 days memories
They are so fond.

2008-04-19T00:30:00.004+08:00

Finally, what's must be done has been done. The sadness has not fade away yet but has made me stop imagining stuff. Thanx dearie Cheryl for being there with me while i made the call, without you, i'm quite certain I would back out again.

I was so nervous to call him because i'm unsure what's his reaction wouldbe. I knew for sure the moment i called would be that now familiar and enthusiatic voice answering the phone. Can't beat around the bush, i have to tell him directly and all the truth----i can't accept the offer. What surprised me alittle was that he actually expected what was coming.

After blurting out what i'm supposed to said, there was a mixture of feelings----relieved yet with a heavy heart. The best wishes i got, the friendly tone still remained on the other end of the phone really touched me, for awhile my eyes were teary. I think if i'm in his position, i wouldn't be able to do so. The ties we built were not just purely colleagues, there's ties just like kinship.

Lastly a message for my mentor:

Dear Mentor

Thanks a million for your understanding and well wishes. A great man you are, giving me all the attention and help needed. I took so much of your time and the anticipation and expectation you have on me, i failed to fulfill them. I truly enjoyed the times with everyone especially with the team when we chiong together. I'm deeply sorry. Yet, no anger was mixed in your words and still regard me as a sista.

Breaking apart

2008-04-17T22:58:00.005+08:00

Funny how things went,
Seems like a prank, a rather big one on me...

First time round it came, I rejected it so snappy and when the second time it came, it occured to me it might be something good that I missed, I decided to take the step and accept it. Yet, now unwillingness X 10000000000 in my heart i have to turn down the offer again. I have to gather and search for all the courage in the world to tell them. I seriously don't have the heart to tell them, because they are such nice, lovely and fun loving people, they treat me with such great hospitality, just like one of them , welcoming me with open arms into this big family and offering all the help i can ask for.

I seriously can't bear to break the news to them. But what choice do I have left? None.
How i wish they shouldn't treat me so well, making me feel guilty with a mix of betrayal. Although no verbal agreement has been made, yet I felt they have high expectations on me judging from their words, encouragement, help and conversations.

Let's hope at least my mentor will still regard me as his sis..
And 1 day I can return back to this family...

2008-03-04T23:23:00.002+08:00

As we stepped out the exams hall, the commotion unfolded, the noise level was greater than the other times when we finished off another exams. Yes, this is the last time we taking exams in NYP. Burst of cheering and rejoice were broken out for our liberation. It is finally here.

Looking back, the arrival of this day was not exactly that long. Yes, there were moments when we rambled and grumbled when will this day come. No more rants, it's here. It's a tad too fast, as i was counting down the days which seem like just few days ago and i have a feeling that this moment was fast forward. Mugging for exams was pretty slacking yet stress killing and we seem to finish our 3 papers in one breathe.

Goodness, time really doesn't spare anyone, it will not compromise us. I am starting to miss the people, my friends, some tutors and lecturers. Goshh...melancholy feeling is spreading fast from my heart to the rest of my body

With the end of the school marks a new chapter for me, means i'm gonna source for what i'm gonna do next. Sighhh, after poly graduation, things are unplanned for us, we gonna make the decisions ourselves unlike when we were in sec school, the paths crafted were very much limited to select, is either jc/poly. Now i'm facing with so many options and i have to make my decisions carefully in order to reach my long term goals and they must have the ability to make me capable to support myself in just a few years time.

Anyways, all the very best to all my dear friends in your future endeavour. I'll remember you guys for bringing so much laughter, beautiful memories to brighten my poly life and impacted me one way or another, hope these don't stop just here. Luv u guys always.

2008-02-23T23:59:00.002+08:00

Finally today marks the end of entrepreneurship
Months of preparation for this project, what we want is to win the hearts of the judges.
And we did.
Kudos to my team mate for all your hard work, all the late nights, the time spent and the money.
It was all worth it.
It was paid off
Let's keep our fingers cross that Mr Yuen will push us to the A grade.

Exams coming, time to mug
My last time to mug for my poly years
Shall enjoy this time round of mugging
Cause i won't know when will be the next time after this
Shall be a happy bookworm!!!

Gonna part with poly life soon
Really enjoy some of the moments in NYP
I met alot of wonderful people
And i do like my class, BL
It's a little pity that i get to know more of them just few months ago
Before that I don't feel like i belong there but now my opinion is changed
Yet it's abit too late.
Sigh

17 February 2008

2008-02-20T22:19:00.016+08:00

The beautiful bling bling star necklace given by Darling Elsie

One of my fave hottie, Randall Tan...*all smiles

2 more rounds of birthday celebration with my dear brother and sis from BQD! Chris was the organizer! Very rare, this rocket launcher will organize for a birthday celebration
Last year he was nowhere to be seen for my dinner, this year, he actually took the initiative! Wow! Thanx Chris Ge!

Unfortunately, on the morning of my birthday, Marcus' father passed away that day. All of us were taken aback by the fact that we were not in the right mood for celebration.

Something really brings all smiles for me was a photo with Randall Tan! He's cute and is one of my fave! I spotted him outside heeren doing a singtel roadshow. Although he was wearing shades, i could still recognize him. Couldn't help stealing glances at him when we were entering heeren, yeah, at time point i was only secretly bio-ing him. That's all, didn't really think of going up to him to take photo with him. It was only when we headed back, Elsie came up with the idea. I being so shy, of course did not dare to ask him for a pic. Dillon who worked with him, did not dare to approach him too until Fel got fed up, decided to help me to ask him.

Of course, Randall agreed. And because dillon took a long time to take the photo, i started to tremble. Sighhh, so embarrassed can!!! I really wanted to chop off my legs at that time to stop it from trembling!!! I guess, no i'm sure, Randall must have feel it. Of course lah, his hand was on my shoulder, so any movement he must have feel it. Even Elsie and Fel also could tell, so...He must be laughing inside...Never mind! Still i got some memory captured.

Then met up with Goonz and Claris for dinner for a korean feast at Crystal Jade. The food was pretty good, i like their ginseng chicken soup, the rice, their hot plate beef and chicken. Hanging out with them took my mind off awhile from the sad news. Had some good laugh with Karen's comical words and expressions as well as the funny topics we had over dinner.

I have officially stepped into the world for 20 years. Really doesn't feel that way for me. Seems like over the last few years time had passed too fast that i can't keep up with the time and be where i should be at this stage.

20th Birthday~

2008-02-16T21:41:00.023+08:00

My Jie Mei(s)~

Ooh, flowers!

The lovely prezzies.

My cake, one of the biggest cake i had~

*Pretend to cut the cake, for the cameras that are rolling

* Someone secretly attacking me with cream (caught in action)

*Here comes the sabotage

*Everyone falls in for a group photo

BSU folks! A little reunion!

My BM0508 good friends & their the other half!

*Prize Award Session with Mr Sha

With dear ah ma aka Wanran

With darling cheryl~

With Mum & Dad

A very very big thank you to all my dear friends for coming to my 20th birthday party.

I know it wasn't easy for all of u to get here and get back home, i appreciated your presence even more. A memorable night for me, with all my poly friends whom i met throughout my 3 years and shared so many fond memories. The night is not just for me, is also for you guys to come together, sit down and crap before we get into our mugging mode and after that we gonna pursue different paths.

So much laughter and fun we've created yesterday, you guys are wonderful!! I hope you guys enjoyed too. I'm not experience hosting a party, in fact it is the first time i organized. Pardon me if i'm not a good host, k?

Thanx for the prezzies as well, made you guys po fei. I liked all of them!

To Sha and Edwin: Now i can make freshly brew coffee everyday and yummy toast for brekkie! haha.

To Stacey, Xiao Ru, Ah Ma, Xiang Mui, Shuai Sen: Didn't expect to receive roses this year since i'm single. Yet my jie mei(s) bought me a bouquet of white roses! They are lovely and beautiful. Feels so good to receive flowers once in awhile! And of course the huggable bear and the card! Hilarious things u guys wrote inside.

To Denny, Candice, Cassandra, Benedict, Jon & Don: Thank you you guys for the Guess Wallet, good choice, i like the texture, is smooth, nice to touch!

To Amelia & Yanting: Thanks for the 4-leaf clover necklace! i like it, it came just the right time since exams coming! I used it as my lucky charm to bring me the As!

To Arthur: Thanks for the piggy, am impressed by how it can be used as a pillow! Cute!

Lastly, Cheryl, thanx for delievering our funky chocolate cake balls and staying through the party! I hope my joker friends, u know who they are, managed to crack u up as well.

2008-02-14T19:22:00.002+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you!

This year Vday is a quiet one for me
Yes! That's why i'm blogging here
But i'm fine with this, really

Funny, how people, friends i met in sch thinks that i have a date tonight
Or celebrating Vday with a guy
All i have to say, not this year.
Anyways, tomorrow will be, i would say a rather happening day
Looking forward to it
It will be a busy day and a fun night tomorrow.

Caught Kungfu Dunk today
Surprisingly it was good
Funny and the storyline is good.
I like the Xiao Lan in the show, he is cool!
Although the moves are exaggerated for the sake of visual
It's a movie so what's wrong with making things exaggerating here?
It's all for entertainment purpose, ya?

2008-02-04T21:20:00.000+08:00

One plus one is not always equals to two.
It might be three, four, or infinite.
One thing you do, might lead to countless impact
One thing you say, the consequence may be beyond your intentions
I don't like complicated things, I don't like to get warped
Why can't things stay simple as we want?

What you did, had made my mood sank to the bottom
And i'm guessing, what i did had pissed you off too.
Did we get even at each other?
I guess we did.

2008-01-24T00:28:00.000+08:00

It will be the last time i'm gonna see u, boy
Definitely gonna miss u very much..
Will miss your smile
Do call me after i leave
Will definitely be happy to hear from u
More than 2 years there, seeing you grow and progress
I'm glad to be part of it.

What you said was very sweet
At least i know that, the past 2 years was worth it
That you enjoyed having me to teach and guide you
I'll miss patting your head whenever i walk past you
And you waving 'hi' to me everytime you saw me
You're simply adorable and lovable.

2008-01-18T01:37:00.000+08:00

Shall not oblige
Shall not buy your excuses

It's been fixed so long ago
You and i know very well
Being 'busy' won't get you anywhere
This is the last chance
Don't blow it or that's it
I'm standing firm here.
Get this right.

An affair with tau sau piah!!! :)

2008-01-14T00:43:00.000+08:00

Little Red Shop~
Tau Sau Piahs!!

*drools

About to take my first bite~

Crust is thin and flaky, it drops so easily, inside there's generous amount of paste!

Durian! It's ooohhh...so good!

My aunt used to buy 611 Tau Sau Piah from Balestier almost like every sats or whenever she was in that area. It never fails to make me drool, no matter how many times i eat. It is damn good, serious!!! Love it to the core!! It's e best comfort food i can ask for. Since many years ago, aunt has stopped buying...sad, because she never go there anymore. So my craving for it always accumulate until i could not stand it and suffer from withdrawal syndrome.

There are point of time, i would just made a special trip to Balestier to get it but always ended up buying Long Fatt or some other stores one because i just can't find my 611!!! Now i finally know why, because, they've moved!! To Vivo!! I happened to be Vivo and was super hungry, i past by a small store selling tau sau piah then i saw a familiar number, the one that i have always been searching for, 611!!!!It's now called Little Red Shop, haha, fated lahhhh...my love! bought two boxes (17 tau sau piah) to satisfy my stomach as well as for my family and BQD sisters and brothers!!! They loved it man!! Since it's at Vivo, the frequency of me buying them will be higher!! Hahhhh, shall buy even more next time. I think 2 boxes weren't enough actually. It was gone within 2 days! Wiped out immediately when i brought them for training, apparently it was not enough for my bros and sis!

Besides the traditional salty and sweet ones, the other worth trying for is the durian! (I didn't get to eat all actually, i think these are the three flavors i ate) You can smell it even before you open the box, and the taste is great too, yummy-licious! Oh, the coffee one seems to be good too, (comments from fel and rave).

2008

2008-01-12T00:13:00.000+08:00

First post of the year 2008. Hmm, lotsa anticipations with some worries and times a sense of uncertainty. It's probably gonna be a dramatic year for me and people around me. It could be a turning point of my life. Gonna be faced with some major decisions, farewell to my great friends that i have met throughout my 3 years of poly.

We've crossed the path of one another, many friendships have blossomed. One way or another, they have impacted me, created memorable times of laughter and joy together. Even though school life for the past 3 years have been rather rocky but the support, the encouragement from one another have all helped us to perservere through the stupid cirrculum of tep & ipp especially.

Been getting abit nostalgic regarding this but well peeps we still have about 8 weeks or so to get together. After that will then do an official closure post for my past 3 years of poly.

Now back to 2008, after march gonna choose the path i'm gonna take, seriously i have no clue at all. Probably gonna give myself some solitude to think it through, whether i'm gonna be a career woman now or put it on hold. But for sure, i will take some enrichment courses before i do anything major.

Resolutions time
1) Gonna take up at least a new language
2) Save more money
3) Master pool
4) Tone up my body

That's all for the resolutions.
2007 was a pretty good year, everything was quite alright for me, nothing drama mama thingy happened. Caught one of my favest idol live, got a new part time job, then can't remember whatelse i should mention. To sum it up, 2007 is great!

Anyway, in about one more month, that time of the year will be here again!! Yeahhhh!! Stepping into the world of twenty...damn...feels rather old and can't believe i actually live in this world for almost 20 years now!!

Honestly i don't even feel like i behave like a 19 year old, what's more 20? How in the world should a going to 20 year old pretty girl behave??? Tell me about it! Open to comments but it doesn't mean i will follow!

2007-12-15T23:41:00.000+08:00

Thanx to e bastard, who stole my phone, i finally gotten a new phone. Sony Ericsson K770i .

Dear bastard, because of u, u have caused sooo much inconvenience to me. Couldn't contact people whom i need, and they couldn't get me too. May your fingers start to rot, till maggots, leeches, cockroaches come and eat ur flesh and bones till they drop all and may your eyeballs start to protrude out and fall off, making u blind forever!

Anyways, thanx for getting the phone for me, the dinner treat and helping me to stock up my food supplies, aunt :) Created another big hole in your pocket again, but as usual, u never really minded. It's not the latest model or very expensive but i do like it more and more. I'll try my very best to take care of it for the next 2 years or so and not be so muddle headed to lose it again.

A Day @ Eden

2007-12-07T22:47:00.000+08:00

Make a fruitful trip to Eden Cafe today with my entrepreneurship project mates to interview Mr Clement, boss of the cafe. He was such a down to earth, funny, no airs at all. More to that, i admired him. There's so much i can learn from him and just in one afternoon hanging around in his cafe, speaking to him, i felt that i have gained so much insights from him.

An amazing man, who started his business with little knowledge about business. He set up this cafe purely because of his passion for food. His endless flow of ideas and creativity simply took me in awe. He who does not acquire any culinary training, can create so many wonderful, unique, unimaginative dishes. With majority of them being a masterpiece, nearing to perfection.
He also self-taught interior design and can be in that line for a goodness 16 years. Seriously, how does he manage to do that? Self-taught everything and outshine so many counterparts in these industries.

Yet, with all this accomplishments, he is such an easy going man. He is such a people person. He treats his employees, customers well. Being successful, he does not see himself more superior than the others. He taught us to lower ourselves and learn things from others even if we have higher qualification, this does not mean we are more capable than these people.

It's not easy to be a people's person but i see that it isn't that tough either from him. Being that, there's nothing much to lose but so much to gain. Also, i think there are things and interests that i'm common with him. Interior Design, F&B. If he can do it, why can't i?

After this session, i firmly believe that, ONE DAY, i can open my own restaurant with ME, the Lady Boss, with my creations appearing in the menu and being crowd favourites:). The setup of the restaurant, my home will also be designed by me. Every day, i will be buzzing around the tables, giving my recommendations, whipping up customer's request, looking at them indulging in the food. What a great sense of satisfaction it would be!!

This day will come..

People, check out the website http://www.edencafe.com/ and have a peep at the mouthwatering menu .

I've told Mr Clement that i'll be heading down next week for the total dining experience together with Xiao mei. Ooh lala.. i'll get ready the camera and do some snapping!!!

On a side note, Eden Cafe also conducts cooking lesson for 10-12 pax. You will be able to whip up a few course dinner. Price is $120 per pax with all ingredients and equipment provided. if i didn't remember wrongly, there's something for us to bring home besides our masterpiece, what is it..Argh, nvm, it's not the main point. The main point is after the lesson, you will emerge to become a good cook. Yeahhh, this is what is important!! I want to takeup this opportunity so if anyone of you reading this wants to go too, let me know, ask ur friends, and i'll ask mine and if i can get 10, we can form a class!! Yes, so spread this, spread, Spread, SPread!!!

2007-12-02T00:18:00.000+08:00

It's easier said than done..
My thoughts are tangled, twirling inside my mind
Somehow, they seem so complex for me to untangle them.
What's there for me to do?
I have done what i believe is the best for me
So why am i still caught up by my emotions?

Seems like there's this fear tag along with uncertain slowly spreading through my mind...

2007-11-29T01:19:00.001+08:00

hmm, found the mometum to blog but not sure what to write about.
I'm not someone who loves to talk about my private life here.
If i want to share i rather talk to the people about it on my own.
Here it just seems weird lahh

Nothing much interesting, but there's something for me to talk about now
But just not here.
Shall try to drill this deeply intact into my brain!
IT"S WEEK 3 of sch now!!!
Time to work on all e icas report due in less than 2 weeks!!!
Urghhh, so fast.
I have been so addicted and engrossed with playing computer games
That all day, whenever i have the opportunity to use my PC , i just automatically click on the game and yeah, all day and night, i'll just click and click, one game after another just to make it through to the next level. Everytime i tell myself, this shall be my last game, and when it ended i was so close to breaking through the next level. Believing i can do better, and with abit more luck i will make it through the next game, i persisted on in trying. By the time i decided to give up, it's almost time for bed.

I decided to get my engine started today, and here i was successfully fight off the temptation to play the game, it's pretty late now. 1:29am.

Sigh, out the whole day, reached home an hour ago. Was busy smsing n msning with my dear friens. Damn...How much can i do today??I don't like to do last min work. I don't like to be rushed. I want to complete all these projs ahead of time and at my own pace. Grrrr...

So little time yet so many things to do!! Geez.

2007-11-12T01:25:00.000+08:00

Sitting on the seat that is so comfy with you in front of me,
With the bustling sound of the vehicles surrounding us
And the cool breeze of the night
Is one of the moment that i wish would last,
Better still time will stop still for me just for my sake,
Just for me to take in the essence of the night,
The little enjoyment i can obtain within my reach.
But all good things must come to an end,
After that i just have to wait patiently for the short moment to comeby again.

2007-10-21T01:44:00.000+08:00

Every moment that was spend with you
Has been added on to my precious and fond memories
The past has all been compiled into my own album
That only i have the key to unlock
It is getting thicker and thicker
With pictures and conversations vividly posted and written down

I can be easily satisfied and be contented
All you have to do is constantly and never ending fill up this album
With you and me
To get me smiling all the way

Day 1 in the restuarant

2007-10-14T23:19:00.000+08:00

Started my first day of work in Ivins. Chose one of the busiest day to work--Sunday evening, so many things to know, but overall it was still alright. The colleagues that are pretty nice, guided me along, helped me at times despite they themselves were quite busy too. And there's Jasmine, who briefed me, familarised with the job scope and took great care of me, this made my day 1 much less stressful and helpless. So sweet of her!! Thanx so much gal!

The manager, whom i expected to be at least mid 30 was younger than i imagined. He seems nice, easy to work with, no airs, and quite encouraging too. He messaged me after work to check how was work for me and said it was my first day, so don't worry, and i did well. I have a feeling that i will stay on in this restaurant for quite some time. The working environment there looks alright, enjoyable. It doesn't impose very strict service rules or much restriction. It's a good place for me to start F&B plus i wanna gain some F& B experience before i graduate and with that hopefully it can earn me a place in that course i want next year dec. Maybe even through this, will also affirm that the hospitality line is something that i wanna embark into in the future.

The food there is pretty yummy. I tried a few dishes. Shall try all as time goes by. Has been there for around 19 years!(same age as me!!). I'm really surprised by this fact! Wow, like what people call, Lao Zi Hao, Lao Zhao Pai! Business is good and the price is very affordable. The boss does the cooking himself. So all the time, he's in the kitchen. There's takeaway too. So maybe you people should give it a try sometime, and i'll be glad to do the serving.

2007-10-05T13:42:00.000+08:00

I was blog hopping around last night and i chance upon some celebrities' blogs. While reading one of the post by Bryan Wong, it sets me thinking and did abit of reflection. He was saying 'if you were to lay off doing something for one or two days, you might just end up evading it for a longer period of time.' That's so true and another part he says 'when i set my mind on doing something, i will do it with all the conviction i could and never stop but if i were to stop..hmm…i stop.'

Upon reading this situations came across my mind. One thing is hitting the gym to tone your body or train up. Yes, there are times when i'm so committed, faithfully going to gym like 3-4days a week just to tone up butdue to piles of projects to be cleared, mugging for exams, my gym routine was interrupted or was stopped. After clearing what i had on hand, the determination of hitting the gym at least 3 times a week died off too and i haven't been going since then. Recently i switched my exercise routine, instead of gyming, i chose running instead. After all my aim is to shed all the fats first then toning so whenever possible i will go for a jog in the evening. I hope this routine will be able to last and not break it.

Apart from this i have stopped or reduced the time i practised my piano. My cousin is busy so i stopped my lesson for time being and now i'm pretty free, instead of practicing harder, make use of this period to push myself, i barely lay my fingers on the piano.

But after this, i think it's time for me to drill some discipline in my lifestyle and also get my butt off chair in front of the computer.

2007-10-03T19:54:00.000+08:00

Haven't blog a single entry since e hols . It's becoming mouldy, dusty..
*Blows away e dust

Hello ppl!
These days i'm just in my nuah-ing, na liang mood --TV-ing, Kumon-ing, Training, Running, Sleeping
And Sinning myself with Food! every Saturdays and Sundays
It's all about chilling and not tiring myself this hols!!
Yep!

That's why i'm still sticking with Kumon, though pay is little
Hours are flexible .I don't wanna commit myself with jobs that eat up 1/3 of my hols
And don't have to wake up early .So i can relax, drag awhile, hang around at home before i head to Kumon. Anyway when i graduate one day, i got years ahead of me to slog and work. So why the hurry to find job, when now i can afford not to work.

Sunday, coming 7 oct, gonna start waitressing!
Let's see whether i can handle the challenge
Wait and see!
First time in my Life!!!!
To gaining some experience for F&B
Yep Yep, gonna work towards my future course!

It's been 1 mth 2 week since hols? What is sch? What is attachment? HHahHahaaha
Can't remember, don't wanna remember too!
Sorry to those who started sch and having attachment
just can't help it!

Apart from nuah-ing, i think it time again to toughen up
For my Blue belt then e next and the next and the next
Until the ultimate BLACK!!!
Yes! Time to toughen up, whack the paddings, like no tomorrow!! Be Immuned to pain! So i'm gonna jog, do sit up, push up whenever possible!!

2007-08-07T23:01:00.000+08:00

I hate to say this but projects sux!

Especially grp projs.

Not gonna elaborate although i have tons of things

To rant about just for this topic

I'm mentally drained.

Thank god, the gruelling period is finally over

I know projects are nothing good, it always means sleeping less

This sem, is really killer

There are few occasions that i exploded, experienced serious moodswings

That only a few things can calm me

Going for training, hitting all the paddings

And going to arcade

There's exams approaching

But exams are way better than projects.

Yes! Tomorrow, the last presentation and i'm free!

Literally!

Side track now..

Some people just gets on my nerve!

Urghhhh

Irritating, annoying

How i wish i can slam you on the ground...

My tolerance level has reached the limit

I won't go easy on you the next time

No violence, but in other ways!

Yes!

I'm not going to tolerate any nonsense from you

I don't care whether it is on purpose or unintentionally

I have enough picking up the pieces wherever you have left

I don't gain anything by helping you

Instead i've been made a fool out of myself by being nice.

I've got many better things to do

You never learn, you were never grateful

So what's the point?

When are you going to realise your mistakes?

How many people are you going to rely on

To achevie your goal?

Not me anymore..

If you are not going to do anything about it,

Then i suggest you go back to your comfort zone.

Christina pt 2

2007-08-02T22:13:00.000+08:00

The one million dollar ticket to see e best show on earth!

I love the curtains!

She looks so good at every angle!

A soulful performance she was giving~

She's singing her heart out

*She waves

Look at this!

Christina's private bus?? Beautifully design!

Darling Elsie & me!

Leaving my footsteps @ e now gone National Stadium before it was gone..

Christina Aguilera Live

2007-07-01T01:42:00.000+08:00

Ever Since Christina Aguilera came into the scene

Wth 'Genie in a bottle', i have been a big fan of hers

Her music is so pleasant to my ears, actually more than that

Very meaningful and inspiring

Especially the songs in her Stripped album.

It had helped me to walk through some of the toughest and rockiest time,

In my life, with that voice of hers, so powerful and soulful

The encouragement and the motivation that i felt

Made me work harder and be stronger

She's one true artiste that has outshined many of her counterparts

And truly the best singer this generation..

I've watched countless of her 'live' performances and some concert

They were so great, many times better than the records

That i wished i could be there and see her perform

Indeed, the opportunity came

And of course i've seized the one and only chance

Irregardless of how much the ticket cost, i went ahead w/o hesitating

I don't feel heart pain at all

In fact i'm glad i've spent my money for this

Cos no way am i gonna miss this chance

Her very first concert after 8 years in the music industry

Yeah, 8 years, if i miss this prob another 8 yrs..

The day finally came..

The anticipation finally ended..

Her concert last night was totally awesome

A blast!

She blown me away with her singing

Captivated my heart

And her dancing was so slick and smooth

Loadsa respect and admiration for her.

An eye and ear feast for me...

There are few moments that her singing really shook me

Touched my heart that almost moved me to tears

And sent me weeping inside my heart

The opening was so good that i know this concert was totally worth it

She indeed lives up to her name.

The set was lovely too, felt like i'm watching a muscial and in a circus

Until now, i'm still relishing the moments of the concert..

What a lovely and memorable experience it was

To see Christina performing

A dream came true

Loadsa thanx to Christina for including Singapore as part of her world tour

The joy you brought all of us, no words can be described

Hope there's a chance to see you again!

Luv u loads!

I've mangaed to take some shots of hers! :)

Will upload soon!

2007-06-09T00:45:00.000+08:00

Wala, one of my favourite months--June, it's here

Cos june=sch holidays!

And yeah my yr3 sem1 term break is here, finally!

After a hectic week, i'm pretty much dying already

Can't make it in time for my first classes this week,

Been a lazy bum to skip a couple of lessons...

But i'm not putting in enough effort in my studies lahh

Still buang-ing the tests

Ahhh...speaking of it makes my heart bleed...

Die lahhh, exams i'm going suffer...

On a lighter and happy note, i passed my LAST NAPFA

With flying colours!

A Gold, yes i managed to get what i want

And most importantly i'm really proud of my timing

13:45! my best record so far..

I loathe running, esp running track

Because of the hot weather, and beads of sweat just keep breaking out.

Plus, it's so boring going rounds and rounds

I prefer running the treadmill or running out to somewhere

As for my 5 items just so so, nth much to be proud of

Holidays should be pretty fun

Training, sleeping, TV, shopping, eating, bbq, movies

REading and PIANO!!!!!!

Speaking of piano, i've not been practicing for so long

Since january i think

Uh oh, not a gd sign lahhhh

Grade 8 nxt aug

And i don't want to delay any further

Aiming for merit but a gd pass will be fine too

And other plans will be try to do my tutorials

Start abit of my projs

Visit granny! Yes, haven't seen her for quite some time

Shall go and keep her company

So e break will be e time for me to spend more time

With people and things i have not been spending time with.

To end off this great mth, i'm gonna watch

Christina Aguilera 'Live!

Elsie, my heart aches when i thought of how much i spend

Just for a concert that is approximately 2 h

But i still believe it will be totally worth it

Thankfully i have my attachment pay to spend.

Who knows when will be the next time she drop by again?

Prob another 5 years?

I will definitely blog about this after the 30th

Hopefully with some wonderful pics to come along!

2007-05-28T23:11:00.000+08:00

Humans are a bunch of greedy species

We always want this and that, be it material goods

Acheiving goals, results, or even in relationship.

Can we ever be satisfied?

Can we ever stop having desires and wants?

How to eradicate them?

Or a little bit of greediness is good for us?

It acts as a motivator,

Pushing us to reach our goals,

Reaching greater heights.

It's ironic,

How i used to tell myself it doesn't matter

i should be contented how things are

But somehow, the other side of me

Ain't satisfied

I want more, although things seems good now ,

I just want more.

The greediness has set in

Well....

Maybe a little greediness in us is a good

Making us work harder to our goals

As long as we don't lose our mind

Don't let the greediness lead us

We will be fine.

Burning Desire

2007-05-17T23:08:00.000+08:00

This desire has sparkled flames inside me many times

There's this impulse

Asking me to act

But my rational side will start questioning

Till the point the impulse has subsided...

i'm just waiting for the time

For the impulse overwhelms my thoughts

Then i will action...

I'm a rational person,

I follow my brain more than my heart

It's rare to find me to do something out of impulse

I contemplate alot, before i would go ahead to do something

Something that is unexpected..

It's one of my weak point

Sometimes i wish i can change this trait of mine

But it's said easier than done...

2007-05-13T23:08:00.000+08:00

This week was quite a blast

Lotsa action with great food combined

Been gyming for most of this week

Broke record, 4 days a week

Mon, Wed, Thurs, Fri

Woooohoo, feels gd and proud of myself though

On the other hand, i did eat quite abit too...

Fri was Fion's bdae

Went to Buakaw's sis place to dine

The desert was great, i like the Panna Cotta...

Lemon Souffle, it reminds me of my fave choc from Marks and Spencer..

Whoooo....

I ate so much, the most, had to finish what was unfinished

So my stomach was practically bloated and signs of tummy showing yet again...

Then, was dragged to Paulaners to accompany

Fion, Cheryl and Claris to get their pay,

As usual, they had to chill at the bar.

Then Cher gave me the small glass of dark beer

I had to finish it all alone,

I was sooo sooo full till the extent

That i want to puke everything out

Emptying my stomach

The worst part was making my way home

I wanted to take a bus home but cher insist i cabbed home

She's worried that i would throw up

But i thought nahhhh, it's not like i had too much

Just bloated, i won't puke

However, no cab available, as usual at that place

So, bus was still the last resort

The bus ride to me was freaking rocky

My head was spinning,

Urges of throwing up surface from time to time

All i could do was shut my eyes tight

Hugging my handbag tight,

Hoping that it would bring some comfort

Anyways, lesson learnt was

Not to drink when you are feeling full!!!

Anyways Congrats to all the BEI QUAN DAO guys

Buakaw, Chris-Ge, Say Eng, Coach Jason and Long-ge

You guys did us proud, bringing in the medals and glory

Chris-ge, long-ge and dil don't be too upset for not winning gold medals

It was a pity especially for Chris-ge and Dil

The refrees were pa jiao

You guys should have won the matches instead

But it's okay, you guys are still the winners, the medalists to us all

There's still more to come

Train up and be tougher!!

Long-ge, rest well, don't aggravate your injuries any further!

As for Buakaw, your last few matches are impressive,

Especially the one with Louis

You can retire with honour!

Guys, rest well

And those with injuries wish you all speedy recovery!

2007-05-08T23:01:00.000+08:00

Have a little mood to blog...

Lazy to do so..

Actually nothing much to say, life's been pretty dull

But, can't really consider dull

It's just...i don't know

Maybe i'm the one trying to make everything about me dull.

Okay, judging from the way i blog now

Seems like there's something wrong with me

Nahhh, i'm fine

Am quite beat,

Plus alittle beat of moodswing?

Well, well attachment has ended for good for almost 2 weeks

Finally after endless phone calls make to chase after my pay

It's here too

Gonna spend that on driving?

Seems like i'm not 100% sure right?

I want to but i'm not sure whether

I should opt for private or school

There are people telling me the pros and cons for both

I can't make up my mind...

I guess i will take some more time

Rather than rushing myself into it

Meantime, try my best to watch where my money goes

Tough, mission impossible

But i will try to slow down the process

Apart from that,

I will spend quite substantial amount of time gyming

And daily exercise done at home in the night

To shed those unwanted pounds

Toning and firming up my body

Working towards it

Been working hard but not enough to shed those fats yet

Cause while i'm burning up those fats

At the same time, I couldn't stop myself from snacking

My fav CHOCS and all the sweet and SINFUL junks

Damn, jiat lat lahh

2007-03-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

I have endless rants and complains working on that company

But all we can do is swallowed all the unhappiness down quietly

Not all are heartless, cold blooded, but is ENOUGH to drive us to the extreme

We are gonna work throughout the week just like the staff there

We have to stay for endless meetings and meetings

Quotas for us are being set, just slight lesser than the rest

But it still seems impossible

Crazy people, we are still so new and there so much we don't know

The products we can sell are limited

Yet they expect me to hit $50,000 sales in 3 days

When i don't even make $5000 worth of sales in 5 weeks....

And they care 'so much about our welfare'

We have to work as late as the rest

Wake up as early as them or earlier than them

But the company thought about how tired it would be for them

They ask each one of them whether they want to put up at a 5 star hotel after the end

the fair each day

For us, they don't bother to even ask

We seem to be invisible to them

Don't exist in this planet

Or maybe they just think that we are deaf and blind.

It's not that i want to stay in a hotel after the fair

Afterall we are working for them temporary

Why are we being treated so differently?

Basic Courtesy!!!!

If you intend to leave us out for the accomodation benefits then do it when we are not around,

Rather than talk across the board for us to know

And why bother to provide reimbursement for transport when only $5 bucks is the max we can claim?

Pls lah, $5 is only enough to cover maybe only half of my cab fare.

Still, you people want to owe us our pay! C'mon, it's only $450, you can afford to give your

employees up to 6 months bonus yet you people refuse to give us, poor students, our pay!

What's more you incorrigible people think we are superhuman,

Meeting always stretches until 8 plus 9,

Yet you people don't even bother to buy our share or ask us whether we want any food.

I'm tolerating,

This is all i can do..

2007-03-20T23:27:00.000+08:00

I detest and am truly digusted

By the way the coporate world functions.

Or rather the people that make up the population.

They are mainly a bunch of hypocrites, backstabbers, bootlickers and supercilious.

Just because we are interns

WE are being ordered around

They don't see the need to be nice

Or 'try to be nice' to us

They can just raise their voices as they pleased,

Vent their frustrations on us

Throw all the tedious chores to us.

When we completed our tasks well,

We don't get any form of encouragement,

Much less appreciation.

And when there's a minor mistake, we get reprimanded

When things go wrong and you happen to be involve, you get arrowed

And the blame are all on you.

What are these?

They pay so little and expect 10X more of what they paid us

Expect us to slought like cows

And deprive us for our meals

Yet there's no form of compensation

We are only here to learn

Try to ease the company's load

Yet nothing much in return

They tell us to uphold the company's image

Yet, they don't set an example

Gossip whole night long

Making the whole place seems like a market place

With their awful, laughter and piercing high pitch voices..

What crap is this?

They can eat while they work

And yet we are not allow

They seem to be watching every movement of us

Waiting for us to make mistakes

Then pounce in and bark at us...

Miserable.

Detest the coporate world

Loathe the people

Especially those who think they are 'oh-so-capable', high up there

I'm crying inside

I wanna break free

But all will only be realised in 6 weeks time.....

2007-02-21T22:20:00.000+08:00

How should i describe my attachment?
Definitely not a 'fun' word to describe
Having mixed feelings towards it.
Dread having to wake up so freaking early,
Having to travel so far to and fro
The long hours
The fact that i'm super under paid
(Five and a half day week plus the upcoming natas fair, 7 days and more than 10 hours)
The thought of all this just makes me sick
And i really wanna fall sick now, get mc
(it's just a silly thought of me, wanna eat snake)

On the bright side
I've learned quite alot of things
Using two new programs to check air flights, fares and taxes
Bookings for hotels, air tickets and insurance
The art of multi-tasking for intermediate/advance level
Making payments to credit card company
Soon, i will gain a significant knowledge about the world

Time sometime pass pretty fast
Especially today after four days of holidays
Calls after calls ringing off my hook
Enqueries for this destination, that travel packages
Almost drive me insane
But i felt sense of fulfillment
Because i am slowly handling the enqueries by myself,
Or i try to do the checkings, retreive info from the seniors, webbie
As compared to the 1st week, most of the time the calls are transferred to them
Doing the job for me.

Well, well, enuff said about attachment
Another long day ahead or a long way till i said goodbye
*Sighhhhhhh
I'm running out of clothes to wear to work!!
Must learn the art of mix and match, few clothes but many styles and looks

Although attachment had stolen most of my time away
i still managed to get some piece of fun for Vday and my Bday!
Many many thanx to my lovelys, darlings, bros (ge-man), sweethearts
My Vday date! So cool k. Gave me rose to cheer me up.
Ok, i admit my mood was quite lousy. But with you, was a fun, relaxing night.
Definitely put a smile on me! Thanx darling!

My Bday celebration was cool with bqd family
No surprises, but it's perfectly alright
What matters was i enjoyed you guys company
The simple yet heartwarming dinner together
In addition, you guys especially made the time out for me
The lovely presents
AwWWWw
REally sweet
i felt really pampered, blissful
You guys are the best, most wonderful
Always put a smile on me
It is memorable
I can't help but wonder
will you guys still be celebrating my bdae nxt yr and yr aft yr?
i really hope we won't be separated after each of us embark on different paths
Like me i'm graduating next year, what will happen then?
Shall stop being so melancholy
Back to the topic
Thanx darlings like elsie, kai sen, marcus, long ge, say eng, norman, fel, portia
For celebrating my bdae and showering me with the gifts
And thanx to those who remembered my bdae
Esp Coach Jason, was utterly surprised by his bdae greetings...

Goonz, i'm waiting for my pt 2 celebration
Where are we feasting?

2007-01-11T20:45:00.000+08:00

Horrible day~

Quite unlucky today

I did not bring books for lesson today

Did not pack my bag today

Woke up late, had to rush out of my house,

In the end i brought nothing relevant for class

Sheesssh

Dropped my phone into the sink

There goes my phone!

Dead.

What's worse i realise i did not save my contacts in my sim card

Geez

Now i couldn't contact anyone

Only people can contact me

Feeling out of touch with the world now

Who can i call for SOS when i need now?

Like nobody man

Am so craving for my dose of coffee for the day

Wanted to head down to TCC or Coffeebean with friend

But was pouring so madly

That sort of dampened my mood man

So decided to go to BP starbucks to buy coffee instead

However it was still raining so heavily

Couldn't get there without getting myself thoroughly wet

So, went straight home

Urghhhh

I want my coffee

Where's my coffee?

Any kind souls to bring one cup to me now?

Apparently not!

2007-01-02T15:33:00.000+08:00

One more day before sch reopens
So this is how i'm gonna spend my last day of hols

Because i'm broke, that's why i'm staying at home today..

I'm not gonna, and don't think i have the mood to STUDY

Gonna watch vcds

Finish my novels

Chat

Bum and slack around

Stoning

Yeah, that's my plan for today

I'm still in the holiday mood

i presume i will suffer a HUGE Holiday Withdrawal

When sch starts

I'm soo soooo sooo dead

But, i'm still gonna stick to my plan at least for today

Then maybe give myself a knock on e head tomorrow

So much to do, but i'm gonna delay it till tomorrow

2007-01-01T23:25:00.000+08:00

New year eve was good

Better than expected

Was only expecting to go for my cousin's housewarming

Then head home afterwards

But i was granted permission to join my BQD friends for countdown

by my Empress Dowager!!

Wooohoo

Damn happy can, i'm not so lucky all the time

Did not have the intention of asking my parents to let loose

Until norman msned me and persuaded me to give it a try

So ok, try my luck

And wooo, i struck one of the best deal lahhh

So i rushed down to esplanade to meet up with elsie, norman, long ge, matt n weiting

They got the perfect spot for the fireworks!!!

Norman & elsie came as early as 6

We were entertaining ourselves with all the stupid jokes and talks

Then came little drops of rain...

Our hearts fluttered abit, worried looks appeared on our face

10 pm came e first round of fireworks

Nothing spectacular, not enough to get us excited

Then drops of rain came again

Dammit, of all times n all days

Spoiler!!!

It became heavier and heavier

I didn't want to leave, neither of us wanted

But we didn't want to get too drench too

So we left that reluctantly and with disappointment

Sigh

There goes our fireworks!

Went to norman's car

He was thinking so hard where else can we view e fireworks

Tried driving past ECP

Our last hope to see the fireworks

Alot of cars were trying to do that

Causing a heavy jam

But in e end we saw nothing

Traffic police was there so we couldn't stop the car

Planned to go Arab sT for e TEh

It was closed too! Sigh

We stayed at Arab st for awhile

Could hear the fireworks

Grrrr, how sad

But we still managed to get ourselves high

Countdown together, wishing one another happy new year

All of us were hugging together, jumping for joy

Singing songs, making whole lot of noise

Well, it's never really quiet when i go out with them

Then we went for supper, hungry can

Dim sum at Desker rd

Quite a famous place

Yummy yummy dim sum

Our first meal of the year

together with BQD family

Wahhh, so warming and comforting

Really..

The last and first group of people i see

in 2006 and 2007

The food was really gd, esp the dao pau

It's e best i ever eaten

Ohhh, e portuagese egg tart too, heavenly

After that, as some others and me had curfew

We had to end the night here

Supposed to take mrt to meet aunt at clementi to send me home

But norman offered to send me home so i dont have to travel myself

Yippie!! So kind and sweet of him to send e three darlings of BQD home

Quite a hassle actually, from Novena-Khatib-Bt panjang then Teban

He practically covered half of Spore

He was really tired, poor thing

Although u r nice but there's no way i could let u stayover at my place

My parents confirm 100% will heck me into pieces

What a night, eventful, no fireworks

But it did not dampen our mood too badly

2006-12-29T01:37:00.000+08:00

My biological clock is going haywire AGAIN!

I'm sleeping at oddly hours

Seems like day has become night

and night has become day for me

I must force myself to sleep

Can't possibly every night call up people to talk with me

It's a torture for them

Only ME am so energetic pass 3 am

Shall use up more energy during the day

I'm far too slack

Frustrated with myself

Wasting my beauty sleep

ok, gonna try my very best to sleep!

2006-12-21T00:43:00.000+08:00

I'm a lucky girl

I truly think so

I realise that i have a bunch of great friends by my side

Firstly there is my bqd mates

Was really bored today or rather since Tuesday night

So this afternoon i just started smsing Marcus to meet up

Then i asked him to ask e rest to see who can join us

It was a very last minute thing, yet i still had seven of them who turned up

Just because i'm bored and want companions

THanx people~

I really appreciated it...

It was so fun

Ate at youth park, ordered all the heaty and fried food, yummy~

The most interesting part was visiting the haunted house of the Soong Sisters'

Thrilling~

I didn't know Orchard also has this kind of site

A strength of six exploring the house

It was quite a walk from the entrance to the house

Marcus and Norman leading the way

They were walking so far ahead and before we know

The two of them came running back to us

Apparently they saw some 'dirty' things

Both of them saw different things

Was really freaky

After awhile we decided to carry on with this 'excursion'

The house was really dilapidated and was falling apart

According to marcus, that house was once burned down

Thus the structure is now very weak

When we reached the front of the house

Only norman, marcus and me entered the house

I guess they entered because of me

I was pretty persistent in going in

I felt that since we were already there, we might as well enter to take a look

I have very strong curiosity in exploring this kind of places

Even though i'm not all that brave

Was actually holding my breathe when i entered

3 stories, we climbed the stairs all the way to the rooftop

At the 2nd storey, alittle accident happened

Some strange force exerted on norman

Thankfully he is fine

At the later part, marcus told me he actually saw a figure

At the instance when he turned his head during norman's fall

Spooky~

Luckily he did not tell me during that moment otherwise

I would definitely be scared out of my wits

The rooftop was nice, was pretty serene

The view was pretty too

I think this will be the one and only time to view it

On the way out, everything was ok

no more strange encounters

I did not see or feel any strange, scary thing

Maybe i don't have the ability

In a sense i guess it's a blessing

If not i think i won't be able to sleep tonight

I don't know am i thinking too much

But after or during the exploration

I feel abit dizzy

Things seemed to be spinning abit for me

Now i having a headache...

I think it's just coincidental

Shan't think too much

After all the adventure we just walked down orchard to see the lightings

Finally gotten the chance

Next bdae celebration for my precious, darling, elsie

A sudden and very impromtu

Should have brought my presents along

Damn now her presents n their xmas goodies are going to turn belated

Last stop, chilling session at TCC

Finally gotten my dose of coffee for e day

Been longing for that the moment i stepped out of my house

The drinks are especially refreshing

After eating so much sinful stuffs, so much of walking

Love the seats, always big and comfy

Home sweet home after coffee

Eventful night

I feel truly blessed

And not forgetting fiona who accompany me too for shopping

Meeting my seller on mon

Had a great time spending our money

Fion, guess what i'm no better than u

i'm left with 2 digits for e whole of this month

And my pay is like sometime in Jan can

Gonna give u, karen n cher belated xmas gift le...

No choice!

Xmas celebration definitely have to go cheap...

2006-12-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

I'm so broke..

Sheeesh, i hope i can survive through this month

With the miserable amount of money left!

At least i finally got an Ipod video for myself as xmas gift

But i soo wanted to go shopping!

Clothes, Shoes, Accessories..

Sidetrack now..

Time and time again, i'm amazed and glad

that how my relationship with BQD gang

grew so fast and stronger each time being with them.

They are my source of comfort.

School is meaningless, dull w/o them

I think there won't be much memory for me

if i'm not in BQD when i graduate.

If i'm down, bored, sick, angry, lonely

They, some or any of them will be there for me

Kill time with me

Listen to me rants

Go shopping, 'na liang' with me

and of course partying with them!

Had a xmas party with them

Thanx norman for spending so much effort

to organise and getting such a wonderful, unique comfy place

for bbq rather than the beach or park

Credits to him, if not for him how would we have so much fun?

Was totally beat when i got home.

Had so much fun and partying too hard

Thanx norman for trusting me

By assigning such an important task to me

(Cold sweats were breaking out, felt so stressed)

Was glad that i was of help to the party

By shopping for the items, marinating the chicken wings,

The vegetable and fruit salads i make out of my own hands

(no, there's norman's hands too)

Luckily the food turned out fine.

No negative comments too

Was so damn worried, 25 people

If anything happened, my head sure roll

Next time I'll definitely whip up better food, more too!

Am quitting Kumon soon
2 more weeks to be exact
Mixed feelings
Have more extra time
Sometimes it's tiring to rush down to work from school
At the same time, i'm gonna miss e people there
And i'll have no more extra money for me to spend..
Gotta learn to be thrifty soon..

2006-11-12T00:49:00.000+08:00

Two long days at the RP for World Competition.

Suppose to help out but nothing much for me to do,

so we all just slack there, practically camp there for 2 full days.

Top martial arts competitiors all over the world are here.

Kinda cool mans.

Was really expecting alot of actions, wow moves n knockouts! (ok, maybe notthis)

But the lei tai matches were not that exciting,

some really were.

Esp the Gozillas matches.

REally action-packed and rather entertaining

Highlights of the days.

So wanted to watch the seniors' matches

But i missed out all of them.

Damn!

REally sad can!

I only went like 3 hrs after the competition kicked off.

And marcus, dilon n chris have all competed and got their medals

2 gold n 1 silver

and norman's wushu competition also ended.

Haix haix

By the time i reached all of them already slacking

Left tui shou matches in the evening.

May hurt her finger, during her match, feel so sad for her

It looked so painful when the medics was attending to her.

Lousy medic, so unprofessional, so clumsy, did e dressing so awful

Even Coach had to tell him what to do about e dressing

I think i can do a better job

Send her to NUH for checkup after dinner

E waiting time was hell

Waited there for 2 h

But gd thing it's very minor, just a sprained!

But may can't train for like 6 weeks!

Okay, i'm still very excited and high as i blogged now.

Was gathering at newton circus with the japanese

They are soo soo soo nice and friendly and cool!!

They came for e world competition too

Tui shou

Although didn't really mingle much with e whole grp

Only senseh hideki and yumi san

Cool people

AT first i didn't know how to introduce myself, like what to say

Am not gd with my words

Well, they helped me by intro me as mimi-san

Was gonna killed all of them lah, but i guess it benefited as well

Easy for them to remember

Senseh hideki urged me to sit beside him,

so nice, was overwhelmed by their friendliness

Yumi-san was very easy to get along with,

we chatted alittle,

she taught me some japanese words, demo tuishou to me.

Alittle of communnication barrier

but it was still fine

Could understand what one another was saying and they could too

I must go japan one day, must, it seems so cool!

i want to learn tui shou from them,

visit sinseh hideki

and learn surfing,

have fresh sashimi!

Was abit sad that we did not exchange contacts,

and i did not say bye to hideki sen seh.

Was too into e talk with yumi. Sad!

REALly really really hope to see them again!

They are leaving tomorrow night

How i wish i could offer to them by being their tour guide

Shopping, eating, sight seeing

But i'm occupy with work as well

Yumi said it will b 2 yrs later for her to come back, so long!

Hope i will have chance to go japan in e near future

BQD should have exchange programme with them!

2006-11-04T00:48:00.000+08:00

It's e start of e nov.

This year is coming to a close soon.

But i feel that is like e start of the year.

Sch has started for 2 weeks now.

So busy, that i don't feel like things are coming to an end.

I still feel that as the year end is approaching,

our live pace should take a turn,

slower than usual, more laid back instead.

Gonna start my engine

and keep myself motivated throughout this sem.

Projects have rolled in simultaneously.

And there's much to do yet all i have accomplished the past few nights are just tutorials

that are required for lessons for the following day.

I sacrificed my beauty sleep

yet, there's so little i can do at home.

I should review,

come up with a more effective ways to complete my tasks.

At the same time i know the reasons why.

I'm just distracted.

A slacker will always be slacker. Bad habits are hard to kill.

The moment i switch on my com,

my attentions are diverted to different areas.

My thoughts are running all over the place.

My mind is active yet the energy is not utilised in the right way.

Die my weekends seem to be damn pack!

Work, training and dinner with goonz tomorrow night.

Sun have to wake up bright and early to go to my grandma's house for some shifting pre-preparation,

then piano,

then might have to meet up my senior for some assignment briefing.

Urh oh!!

ok, i'm gonna come up with my marketing draft by mon by hook or crook.

Even if it means i'm gonna burn midnight oil for the next two nights.

Do some research on SIA for ict. Yep, these are the two important and critical ones.

Come to think of it, i should rest more, attain more sleep.

I'm still sneezing and coughing! 2

weeks have gone by yet, i'm still not well.

Time management, time management!!

Time is slipping away from my hand!

Gonna try to

freeze time! *determined!

2006-10-22T17:10:00.000+08:00

Urgh...

Had a day of fun under the sun with sand and water

Now i'm running a high fever

Can feel that i'm generating heat from head to toes

Feels awful, to be sick.

I think i'm gonna see a doc for remedy.

Where's my sis? i don't feel like going to the doc alone!

Freaky!

2006-10-17T00:20:00.000+08:00

Nearly collapsed during BQD training today

Today training was more intense and strenuous than usual.

But, i think i should be able to take it if

1) i didn't turn up for training

With an empty stomach(only had half a bowl of noodle in the late

morning) which contributed to me being nausea?

2)While holding padding the strap of the padding was constantly brushing against my skin

and elsie's kick and punch is always so power

thus it was so painful everytime she kicked and punched

3) I think i was pushing myself harder than usual.

I wanted every punches and every kicks as forceful as i can

To hear the loud 'phah' sound whenever i hit the padding. (Always enjoy doing

pad works cause that's the only time i know how strong my moves are

Whether my strength

And force increase.

All this attributed to me

Having shortness of breath

Resulted into difficulty in breathing through my nose,

Giddiness and feeling nauseous, couldn't walk properly.

Overall i still enjoyed the training very much

Got to sweat it out so much, felt damn good.

Minus the feeling 'oh-so- awfully sick' part.

I feel i have improve and yes, one of the senior commented too!

I felt that my punch and kick are more power now! yippie

Cos i can hear pretty loud 'phah' 'phah' sound!

Really appreciate what all of them did

All being so caring and concern.

Holding me, fanning for me, offering to carry my bag, and walk me out.

Luv them!

2006-10-09T23:43:00.000+08:00

Caught a movie today-World Trade Centre

The movie was quite okay

Can't exactly call it a blockbuster but is quite worth the money.

Thought it will be showing more on the disastrous side

Instead it is illustrating on the emotional side of the people who were affected by the 911

incident.

Quite touching, and some part it does amaze me that how much strength your loved ones can

keep you going, fighting for your lives, the emotional struggles one has to go through when

you are totally uncertain whether they are alive.

Side track now

life has been pretty alright.

School is slack

Am towards the last stretch of attachment

Am so happy, can't wait.

No kumon too for this two weeks.

Am getting more rest and more relax.

But i do miss going there

Out with BQD people

Though am getting alot of black faces and nagging from my parents

But nothing beats the fun being with them.

Yes and training is semi resumed

Finally got to work out.

LAstly, gonna hit the books again after 6 months of 'hands on work'

Not gonna complain much about my new timetable

It's not that fantastic

However at least i don't kenna any night classes

At least my after school activities ain't much affected -:)

A bird without wings

2006-09-18T08:38:00.000+08:00

A bird locks up in an invisible cage at night
When will she be able to gain the freedom she yearns for?
When will she be able to see the world in the night?
When will she be able to break free?
She wants to fly, soar up high, to everywhere where her wings can take her
But her wings are taken away too

Give her the time she needs
When the time is up, she will return to where she belongs
This is all she wants but they can't hear the voice inside her, no matter how hard she screams and cries.

Now all she do is stare at the sky she sees from her cage
Limited view, she can't see the stars shining
She can't feel the night breeze carrassing her face
She hears laughter but she does not know where they are coming from
No one is in sight

2006-09-11T09:48:00.000+08:00

It's monday...
Start of my 2nd week here in call centre...
Feeling kinda miserable, having to return to my work desk.
REally don't wish to be here. I want to go home!
What's more i didn't have sufficent of rest during my weekends.
Was out the whole of the past two days, tied up with kickboxing activities and hanging out with BQD people,BUT was fruitful and fun.
Sat was the final training before grading. Make a huge effort in getting up for training, just to have more practice for my grading stuffs. But i was really glad i turned up for training. Clarified my doubts for my moves and had seniors to run through everything over and over again, which indeed helped so much.Am really thankful for that. Then dinner at serangoon with the kickboxing people. Yummy food! Fried Hokkien Mee, Fried Oyster(one of the best, in spore), beancurd!(best in spore too, so smooth and tender, e beancurd will just slide down the throat, once it goes into my mouth!) Had so much fun, was bursting out from laughter time to time, funny and comical people. I'm one of the victims they like to make fun, but i don't mind, what's more important is all of us had fun. I guess i really gave them alot of ideas to tease and make fun of. Now e whole of BQD calls me by my nickname and not peiluan anymore! sobs*
Sunday was grading and yippie, i passed! whew~~
Was really relieved. What's more, other than grading, i need to spar with my senior. Was totally unexpected, nobody informed us junior before hand. Was damn scare lahhh, really, fear of substaining injuries as i think the seniors will go all out to gain the points for grading, so they won't have mercy on us. Luckily i survived through, had a hard time defending from all the swift kicks and punches. I think it's one of e most tiring sparring session i had.
After the whole grading was another dinner cum chilling session with some of my seniors, had fun, they brought me to Arab street, it's a place that i dont think i been to before and tried something fun and new. Too bad some of us have to attend sch today orelse we can stay out even later.
Greatly looking forwad to the BQD bbq, how i wish i can stay for the chalet but too bad, stupid TEP. Can only attend e bbq session and probably stayed for one night.
Ok, gotta get cracking!

2006-09-05T09:31:00.000+08:00

Back from break...
Haven't got my tasks for now so i'm still free and bored!
Feeling more awake now, thanks to the mac coffee.
Despite the bitter taste with two packs of sugar, i have no choice but to sip half a cup to perk me up.
I reckon i will be blogging more often, maybe in a few posts in a day for e next 6 weeks while serving the call centre.
For now, being here ain't as bad as what people commented, it's quite alright. Based on yesterday, time actually passes pretty fast here probably due to the tight dateline and target we have to meet. Thus there's no room for slacking. ( Yeah, i'm slacking now, but later today i'll probably immense myself doing calling)
Since the next 6 weeks there won't be any projects and tests. After school hours means purely for me to do whatever i want, i'm gonna change my blogskin soon. Been hunting for a new skin for sometime, and i have more or less decided which one. So probably in the next few days i'm gonna get cracking for a new change. I'm going simple this time round, won't make it too fanciful.
Another thing for me to be done this week is practised my moves at home! Grading is just around the corner, praying real hard to get through the first round, i don't wanna stay in white belt forever...
Alright, gotta start calling again...

Purely out of boredom

2006-09-05T08:56:00.000+08:00

Never blogged this early before...
In sch now, at my call centre desk, it's only 8:53.
Day 2, gonna call real clients, wonder what will be in store for me today.
So sleepy! Right now, i think many many of u are still in your slumber.
Enjoy, the cool, weather!
How i wish i can too snug inside my blanket and continue to sleep and dream.
I wish...
Boredom has slipped in the moment i got out of bed, or rather minutes before i got out of bed to prepare myself for the day, knowing it was pouring heavily outside, the kind of weather that everybody loves when they are in bed.
Ok, now i gonna make a promise to myself...I shall crawl to bed before midnight tonight to account for sunday's night pathetic sleep,(couldn't sleep and havingbizarre dreams that seems so real) plus the long days in school.
Ehh, it's breakfast break now! 20 mins! ok, shall end here...Out..

2006-08-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

3 times,yet everytime was a miss
Does this mean anything?
A sign that things would not work out?
Or it's not easy to have things my way?
Good things take time to comeby?
To try or not to?
Impossible to possible?
It's beyond my control
It will eventually unfold when the moment is here.

2006-08-21T23:25:00.000+08:00

Hur hur...
I'm crying inside my heart now...
I feel so stress with the projects, CS, PM, MMD!!!
Arhhhhh....it's sooo freaking tough, especially MMD, i know nuts what i am suppose to do for that, clueless..Cold sweats breaking out of my forehead when i saw the criterias and requirements. And the hell, i need a program i don't have it and don't know where to get!! Shoot me, kill me pls!!
One thing for me to rejoice about, i gotten my hands on christina aguilera's Back to Basics cd! yippie, yay! Been looking forward to her new works, after 4 long years. Am spinning at this moment, it's funky, groovy and pleasing to the ears, something really different and refreshing. My companion to bring me through this mind torturing period...Something to comfort me.

2006-08-17T15:04:00.000+08:00

oh no, i don't know what's gotten into me.
Previously i mentioned that i felt happy
but now i feel like retreating to a shell, a a warm shell that can keep me safe, out of everything.

Maybe just pure boredom, everything is too routine?
Everything is in a cycle..school, project, work, sleep but no ccas
So mutant...Need to inject some life to my days, really orelse i'm going bonkers.
However i can't think of any nice places to chill and unwind and who to call.

ppl, can u contribute some ideas to me?

2006-08-14T23:23:00.000+08:00

My mind has opened up quite alot recently after a few conversations with a particular friend. We had the kind of talks whereby sets me ponder and reflect, looking things at different perspective, opening up my mind so much more.
I think these days i have no reasons to frown, no reason to be unhappy. Why complicate things when things initially are so simple? Life is simple. So think simple, don't fret over trivia matters.
Looking back at my life, i that although at some point of my life i lost some things that are precious to me that given a choice i would cling onto them and never give them up, i have in turn gain some things in exchange, which i think is more valuable than to what i lost.
Conclusion: We have to learn to give up somethings in order to gain more.
Maybe you will think this as a betting like spend $10 on lottery to win a $10 000 price money
However to me is that, don't simply give up on things, hang on till the very last moment until you are given no alternatives, then let go, you will never know what lies ahead.

2006-08-03T23:14:00.000+08:00

It's heart warming
To know another person who's there and willing to listen to my rants, worries and frustrations.
In turn, concern, care and companionship is received

2006-07-25T15:40:00.000+08:00

I'm distracted
Was even more distracted before i blogged.
Attempting to bring back on my focus, my moods and keeping myself sane
Nearly lost my thoughts at another dimension.

I'm more sober now, as i know that i should not expect/imagine too much
Just let how things are, and that's it.

2006-07-25T15:27:00.000+08:00

Beautiful, happy moments don't last forever
In fact nothing lasts forever.

How i wish, things would go my way
To control time.
How i wish the time together was longer
We had fun.
I want more talks
There's so much i want to know yet, time doesn't allow
I wish i have more freedom
To do crazy things together
It was a pity, that i was bounded by the rules
What a spoilt spot..

2006-06-10T00:08:00.000+08:00

My block leave is here!
Is like finally!
Happy!
No more having to wake up at 630 every school days, can sleep and wake up as and when i like.
No more having to rush for school, can slow down my pace and grab a bite before i start my day.
There's no need me to take cab to school whenever i can't leave the house in time! Save some money!

List of things to do this 7 days

Replenish my sleep(no1 on omy list)
Catch up with my reading, at least finish 1 book. (It's so pathetic, since school started i could not finish any books. Just return the books and borrow again when it's due, and no matter how many times i repeat this, i still could not finish them. Don't have the energy to read, whenever i flip open, ten mins later, i can feel my eye shutting.)So it's a must!
Catch up with my friends and dearies(goonz, xiao mei, hopefully pj peeps and others) but come to think of it again, i gotta watch where my money goes to this month. Have to pay back my sis the money i owe, as well as saving for a suuuper duuper biGGg treat i ever give so far. So not much of extra money for myself anymore
Visit granny, yep(must!)
Vcds/dvds marathon
A little bit of shopping?
Back to sch, for ccas & meetings(URgh), personal selling
Pract piano( chopin's chopin's pieces, aiming to play well and fast within this wk)

Yep, this should be all.Hopefully things go according to plan .

2006-06-04T12:08:00.000+08:00

I don't like goodbyes

It always make me feel melancholy and helpless

We know there will come a day when we have to part

Moving on to another path..

The times together are beautiful, memorable and special

Laughter and joys are a bundle whenever I'm with you all..

I'm missing Kristal and Jed
7 weeks is way too short but was a fruitful one
As all of us feel, we bonded really fast
I'm so glad i'm in T&D, tep doesn't seem that dull anymore
And i know I can fall back on you all in times when needed

Kristal, you are always so bubbly, like your laughter, your energy in doing things. Very caring too, a really gd jie jie. The food you recommend to us, the tour around SIT were really good and fun. The art work you drew on my wallet, is so cool, it leaves a trace of you. A fashion guru too, now i know who to look for to go for shopping spree.

Jed, my buddy, the first person I strike a conversation with in T&D. We bonded sooo fast that well..We bickered over ahem...You taught me massaging, gave me your secret recipe and most of all, standing by me when i really need, the encouragement, the golden advices, the concern will always be remembered.

Now, 3 are gone, t&d only left with 6 of us, 7 more weeks to go before another round of goodbyes. Let's cherish the time together, stay united. T&D Happy family!

2006-05-16T23:10:00.000+08:00

Falling...
The road ahead seems to blur out more as days goes by
No matter how i wipe my vision, it gets clear awhile then it gets blur again..
Walking aimlessly, losing my sense of direction
Everything everywhere appears to be the same
I don't see a turning point, i'm just walking for the sake of walking..

2006-05-16T00:22:00.000+08:00

11th may

Fio's bdae!!
Been planning that like weeks ahead, plans were changed again and again. Finally settle at hard rock!

Had so much fun, demanding fio to do e right way "E angmoh style' of unwrapping her gifts, hope u like what the goonz get for you! Is it memorable enough for you? Even though there weren't full of surprises but at least u had one isn't it??Apple strudel!

Thoroughly enjoyed myself that night with goonz, clar and sarah plus the amusement shaun has stirred. Was soo looking forward to that day, now it has all ended. So soon. When's the next goonz meeting? June?

2006-05-04T23:08:00.000+08:00

I know and am aware you are stressed.
Perhaps i can't fully understand what you are going through
But just to let you know, i'll be here if you want to talk, and whatever things you want to share or do.
Just give me a call anytime, even in the middle of the night..
I'll be more than happy to do for you...

2006-04-30T00:08:00.000+08:00

First two weeks of school can say is really boring and slacking as well..Have tough time waking up somedays, dragging myself out of bed, and have to keep doing timecheck in case i take too long to prepare myself and miss my bus. As expected TEP is a waste of time. But i do have fun slacking around in my dept/unit with my new friends. They are pretty nice and fun, they do make my day slightly better. Enjoy crapping/disturbing/playing pranks with them.I think compared to the rest of my classmates, my stopover is slightly better, at least our supervisors won't be there all the time, no cctv, can have self-declare breaks...
12 more weeks to go...

2006-04-16T00:50:00.000+08:00

Was watching planes taking off and flying.
How i wish i was inside one of the planes, flying to my desire destination.

2006-04-10T23:36:00.000+08:00

In a sulking mood...
I feel really blue...

2006-04-10T23:26:00.000+08:00

Worked out today, feels so good.
Hmmm, was in the mood to sweat it out, so i went for a 4h walk.
From nyp to macritchie. My aim was to go through macritchie and reached bt timah at the end of day. But, was lost in amk. Never shall do it again another time. It's fun!Then i walked from bt timah to bt panjang home. Call me crazy woman, it's okay. I like to do unusual and weird things. Come to think of it, i think i'm quite adventurous, right?? Who knows, i think by walking like this i have lost a kg? Tone up my legs, so it's more firm? Anyway, last day of hol for me, so such do something eccentric and this will be the last day i get to do this kind of thing.
Am really proud of myself. Peiluan sure has strong legs!

2006-04-10T00:56:00.000+08:00

Awaiting for my birkie..
I can imagine the smile on my face when it comes..
Can't wait..
Something to look forward to perk me up in these dull days..

Just a thought

2006-04-10T00:06:00.000+08:00

Some words are left unspoken

Because it is best to be unheard.

2006-04-09T00:55:00.000+08:00

My blog is dying, no life...
Just like me...the thought of heading back school, yucks yucks yucks...

I want to live in my lala land..
My own lala land, just me...
The thought of going mia sounds tantalising...
Shld hav done that early..
Every break, i will choose to go on hiatus, but this time round i didn't, regretted now, how?
I have to stay in reality
There's commitments to fulfill..

Immune

2006-03-24T01:50:00.000+08:00

Immune --- to whatever they said, as expected, i know them too well. Nothing new or unpredicted. As i grew up, our mindset differs, gradually. My thinkings was used to shaped by them, but now, no longer is my ones similar to theirs. I see things that are so called not true to what they say, or rather different angles and realised some things or matters are not the way we think we believe they are.
Attempted to make them see and accept what i see but they are stubborn enough not to take time to listen and observe. So when things(bad things) occurs, they will just comment without asking/observing/analysing/understanding why.
Now, i'm just handling very calmly to whatever they say, and i don't bother to give a damn about it.I'm not going to be affected by those verbal remarks. Although they are not being totally unreasonable, they do make some sense, still i ain't going to follow everything.Not going to succumb. I can judge things by myself.
I don't see anything wrong or bad about this issue, they are just being subjective. Sterotyping things and matters, that is so unfair. They can go on to rant, yak about it but i'm going to stand firm here.

Lurrrrve you, goonz!

2006-02-18T01:39:00.000+08:00

Goonz did this for me!!

Yummy yummy!A dream come true!

Had fun on my birthday!

Loadsa in fact!

Surprises here and there

REally puts lotsa lotsa smile on me!

Apparently all i thought, or i supposed was just a simple dinner with fiona at holland V, yet, it was not so simple...

First surprise-Cher popping out halfway of our dinner.

Dear Fiona had it well planned the day before, trying to gather all my dearies to celebrate my birthday. She succeeded!!

Second surprise-Karen popping out(but cher blurted out to me! haha)

Last one, e biggest of all-Haagen Daz chocolate fondue! (w0ahhh, so Cool!Wanted to try long ago!)

Lurrrvvve my goonz, soOOooo sweet of you dearies for coming out on my birthday plus the lovely treat, the laughter and gossips. A small but a truly memorable birthday celebration. Really appreciate it!!

Thought my 18 birthday would be rather sucky, it was quite during the day, staying at home to study because of exams, felt

sooo poor thing but no no, it was one of the best man! Thanx for the gift, and karen for e lovely chocs!

A reminder for myself

2006-02-07T17:54:00.000+08:00

Drained again...
Exams are fast approaching again...
Lost track of it in the midst of projects and long holidays.
Started my revision, not alot but i do hope i can finish them in time
Hopefully more well-prepared than last semester.
To avoid disappointment from my parents, my aunt, me and others who are concerned about me Most of the times i have high expectation of myself, higher than all people who have for me.

It's time to put more drive and discipline in my studies
No longer try to fool around, thinking that there's no way i can't make it.
Should go all out, not halfway there....

2006-02-03T00:31:00.000+08:00

Love travelling on the bus, especially i'm alone and seated by the window. During these journeys, i can go into my lala land, and wander off. Daydreaming is something i always and love to do, be it looking back to the times i share with my close ones or building images of all aspects of my future, i can dream about anything. And when i don't feel like reading, or sleeping on the bus, this will be my next alternative.
Not only that, travelling on the bus sometimes spurs my creative juices. i can come up with quite alot of things during this period. While i was on my way home just now, ideas were running all over that made me so keen to draw and pen it down as a memento to me or for my friends. It got me excited. However, i don't have the time to do all this, until this semester ends.

I have the urge to draw and write down some of my thoughts, in english as well as chinese(have not been writing or in contact with Chinese since my HMT Os). Can't wait to draw, something i have not done since last year(e last satisfying work i done was in pj). I know i lost 99% of my drawing skills but i hope i can gain them back someday. Can't let what i have acquired go down the drain. I WANT TO DRAW, and paint!!

Really miss reading and writing chinese. Chinese something i know i'm really good at and i'm so proud of that, Miss doing compo. Had the tendency to write super long essay to the teacher, ( had a record of writing a 6pages narrative essay when people in my class only wrote 2 pages kind, mwahah) because i simply can't stop my creative juices from flowing and using those chim chim and flowery words in my essaay. Enjoy writing essay, found fun and pleasure while i know my classmates hate doing compo because these are the times i'm most expressive.

Hols, just wait till it comes, i will start drawing, writing and reading chinese. Fiona and cheryl u can call me cheena again but well sometimes i just like being cheena.

Premonition

2006-01-16T00:05:00.000+08:00

Something kinda freaked me out...

Had a dream a few days ago, something bad...

When i woke up from that dream,

i wished and crossed my fingers that it would turn out the other way.

Didn't they say dreams will never happen in reality, it will always be the other way?

Yet, it happened in reality, just like my dream!

This is not the first time,

There were times that my dreams were so real

But it had never turned out so close to reality...

Makes me ponder...Do i at times possess the ablity to look into the future?

2006-01-02T01:23:00.000+08:00

A brand new year.
There's nothing much for me to anticipate.
Any new year resolutions? Perhaps..
But i'm not going to make any, why?
Because, I know I won't acheive all of them no matter how realistic they are to me.
No point listing down when at the end of the year, hardly anyone of them will be ticked.
So now all I want is to be happy, healthy and have more sleep!Less stress? (Fat hope!)

2006-01-01T02:15:00.000+08:00

Met my dear pj friens! like finally! After almost 9 months! They are one of the coolest groups of friends i have! Great but onli Hema n jessie turned up, the rest had something on. Poor marian was down with diarrohea orelse she would have joined us too...Next outing(don't know when will that be, probably in June?)
Nonetheless, it was still enjoyable, loadsa photo-taking, doing crazy things. I guess we attracted some attentions especially outside esplanade as well as marina square, especially the toilet, but who cares?
Next outing, a longer, more number of people, especially marian, yeeleng, xiaomei, u peeps have to turn up okay? Yeeleng kinda miss your super lame and cold jokes, i can lame with you! As for xiao mei, u still owe jessie and me a lunch treat(after getting so many months of pay, yet not a single treat...) Must drag you out soon!

GooNz OUting~~

2005-12-31T00:39:00.000+08:00

i'm slow in updating....e goons hav long updated about the splendid outing we had. Was pretty busy this two wks, my holidays are not enough for me to spend. (holidays are nv enough for me) Really dread going back to school, because i can see what are going to come when i return to school.
Okay, goonz outing was superb as always! Nothing could go wrong. It would always be
loadsa fun, bursts of laughter from all of us, suffering trauma from celine.(but this time round is e good kind of trauma)
Great food too. Kudos to all of us-fion and cher?For doing the cooking. Me flipping the shrooms and washing dishes Karen for bringing the super big egg and being my assistant. Though they demoted me but i DON"T care, Karen is still my assistant! I miss e shrooms!!!! oh yea, must thank Celine for mixing the beef, should comment on your efforts, taking over the role of host from Cheryl.
Karen, i love ur train of chocolate and candies, so innovative, i love DIY things! Feel so honoured to receive ur gift!! But it has been dismantled before i got home, so now i'm putting them one by one, slowly into my mouth. The train is getting shorter everyday..
Pity that we couldn't stay over lor, which we could but never thought of it..Next time, k goonz even if cheryl says no. haha

2005-12-24T17:42:00.000+08:00

It's X'MAS!!!

Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Fast, xmas is here once again. Excited, goonz outing. Slightly pity that we couldn't stay over at cher's house but that will not stop the fun, whacky and gossiping sessions from going on! Whahah, i'm kinda excited now, couldn't help blogging about it. Couldn't feel the xmas feel last week but finally i can smell the xmas air!

Before this already had some xmas celebrations (in fencing) and received some gifts and cards!

So this week shall be all fun, studies, school work shall leave it next week (i guess?)

Am feeling really happy, happy happy happy, girlish, blissful, this few days, why? Ain't gonna disclose it here!LAlalala, i'm a happy girl for now, happy happy happy...(can't control myself)

*grins from ear to ear*

Merry Xmas!

2005-12-05T22:30:00.000+08:00

Was on e bus alittle while back, when something came to my mind.

Studies seems to be the only thing that can determine the degree of success here. That's what is seems to me. Most of us have to climb one step at a time up the education ladder before we can break into the society. Without achieving what we are expected to acheive or what we supposed to we cannot stand firm.

Yes, we all know that qualifications does not mean everything, each one of us has some talents in us. We can move towards that direction and develop them. However how many of us are given that chance and time to fully develop those potential? It's really difficult. How many people can depend on their talent to earn a good living, a name for themselves. We all can sing but what is the probablity of us being discovered and dead famous? See?

So the guarantee way is to go through the education, get a proper qualification to secure yourself in the society. Tough, long and winding road, that's life.

2005-11-27T01:08:00.000+08:00

Solitude, something i need.
Wishing that i am given more free time to do things i want to chill & relax
Feeling very drained out.
Not accomplishing what i am supposed to do.
Putting important things on hold.

Sch is so tiring
Especially after Tue---night class
Next day, it will start in early morning again.

Very soon, gonna head for yr2.
Not something to look forward.
The most hectic in poly years

Gonna separate with the current classmates soon
Sad.
Which means need to adapt to these changes once again.

back in action

2005-11-10T22:31:00.000+08:00

Tired, rather drained today, long week as usual. Routined life.
Crashed town with my friens today to kill time before fencing. Went to wisma, taka, heeren...eat quite abit. Great food! Went to food republic, e new food court at Wisma, nice place, nice decor, very village feel. Pricing wise, slightly higher than normal food courts. Okay then is jus plain walking fr shops to shops. Outside heeren, there's this chocolate fountain sooo damn cool lor, can play with it provided u bought a stick of fruits or mashmallow, then u can coat them with chocolate. Pricey too, but i think quite worth the money(get to play mah).

Realise one thing or rather fully understand one thing. Working with people is not easy.Am working for the first time, working closely with kids. My job isn't that tough, rather enjoying it. Some of the kids are really cute, some rather naughty, can't settle down, some are really shy, and etc. Kids are still kids, can handle them with sweets and other incentives. (so far onli a handful i can't reali handle)Since kids can be such a pain to work/handle, then what about adults, people of our age? Kids are easier because we all been through that stage, we noe what methods adults use to coax us, and they are easily satisfied. However as the age level of people with work with increases, things sometimes can really get out of hand, clashes of ideas. People don't listen to you all the time, you can't get your things done your way all the time.

Anyway that's life, as we grow up, we have to learn to work with people, learn good interpersonal skills along the way, so as to get complex things done faster, more efficent and effective. Seriously i don't really like to work in grps sometimes, but is not something i can choose not to.

Learn to Fly-a1

2005-10-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

When you feel the dream is over

Feel the world is on your shoulders

And you lost the strength to carry on

Even though the walls may crumble

And you find you always stumble through

Remember never to surrender to the dark

Cuz if you turn another page

You will see that's not the wayThe story has to end

Chorus

And if you need to find a way back

Feel you're on the wrong track

Give it time, you'll learn to fly

Tomorrow is a new day

And you will find your own way

You'll be stronger with each day that you cry

Then you'll learn to fly

In your head, so many questions

The truth is your possession

The answer lies within your heart (within your heart)

You will see the doors are open

If you only dare to hope

And you will find a way to fight

The fears that kept you down

Cuz if you turn another page

You will see that's not the way

The story has to end

Chorus

Looking at your situation

There's so much that you can do

Now's the time to make your stand

This is just an observation

In the end it's up to you

The future's in your hands

Chrous

Give it time

Then you'll learn to fly

One of my favourite of the favourites from a1. The first time i heard this song, immediately i was blown away by this track because of the inspiring lyrics and of cause the vocals of a1. The message this song conveyed is so meaningful. Whenever i'm down, this will be my theme song, it serves as a reminder for me that nothing can bring me down for long, the bad things will soon be cleared up and i'll definitely pull through.

As i'm blogging, this track has been spinning in my sound system for umpteen times already. Still feeling emotional(all of a sudden), so am playing this track to cheer me up? (i don't know)

2005-10-08T23:10:00.000+08:00

Yea, back to blog now. Feeling better to blog...
It's weird, sometimes for me i just feel like my whole world is crashing down, making me feeling so vulnerable, emotional.

Alrightz, all that aside...
Dis week i had attended two 3hr fencing sessions, which was really fun for me. Had a chance to fence wif real blades and wearing e helmets n suit!(Addition there's dettol smell when fenced, fr e helmet) It was actually after the fencing session that lifted my spirits. Maybe those 'cling clank' of blades and poking my opponents chased away the bad feelings i have. Love fencing more and more with each session i attended. The passion helps to keep me to attend fencin regularly even it means, sacrificing my sleep, draggin myself out of bed, having to travel all the way to school and spend more than two bucks on ez link just for fencing!

Pampered myself alittle by buying ayumi's concert vcds. Been dying to see it on e shelves since august. No intention of buying it yet, but...couldn't resist the temptation, so in a whim, i was at the cashier to make my purchase. Then glued myself in front of the tv watching vcds immediately after returning home. AS usual, watching ayumi's performance, just blew me away with her strong, sweet, powerful vocals and the infectious tunes then comes the visual part, the costumes and the dancing! So far have already watched the whole concert 3 times!(waahaha)

Finally, the long awaited of my piano results. Ask my father to call my cousin to find out whether she receive my result slip. And Yes! she had!!!! I'm satisfied, elated with my result, was beyond my expectation but was something i had hoped for!!! (Smiling) So i'm now offically promoted to grade 7, at last after having stuck at grade 6 for soooo long!